As a professional web designer, my preferred solution to this interesting problem would be to code my own or modify someone else's. It's not that difficult to create a simple photogallery. If you choose to go with your own server, I can probably send some scripts your way that will handle pretty much everything as I have the code for this stuff on two or three different servers running live as we speak.
The best scripts for this stuff are on Zend.com.
photobucket with a common password would be a very bad idea because common passwords are inherently a bad idea. A Simple Machines Forum with huge limits on attachments would be just as effective without the security problem. The SmugMug service would be better and is not much more that a photobucket professional account (which is what you should get if you should decide to use a common password on Photobucket). It's also not too difficult to use php-powered forms, ftp or WebDAV to collect the images and Picasa to publish the best of them on your server, but SmugMug can also make back what you spend and make your life easier by automating the print ordering process.
I also know from personal experience that stealing photos from SmugMug hosted albums is next to impossible (though, I can because I know how to put a webpage together and take it apart element by element).
Any person familiar with php should be able to copy and paste and modify to hack together a working script in about two to four hours. I'm generally not too happy with everyone else's scripts when it comes to photogalleries. All the photogallery script is is a call to scandir(), a step through the resulting array, a simple check of the image size, and outputting some HTML. Dodo of Regretless.com does a fairly good job at writing such a script if you can fix the one or two errors she has in her script. The upload script you can find on About.com and a myriad of other places. Add php hosting (e.g. Dreamhost), chmod the target folder to be publicly writable (0775 or 0777, this is a potential security hole, but there are ways around it, such as chmoding the folder to 755 when done uploading) and you have a site that does what you want.
The rating portion is simply two mySQL queries (one to get the rating, and one to update it). Simply recording the number of votes and the average rating is all you need: new rating=(number of votes * current average + new rating)/(number of votes plus one);
However, Gallery2 is fairly good and often included on a linux/apache/mySQL/php hosting package as a "one click install" (it's not one click, but it's pretty easy to install).
php hosting is pretty cheap these days. One shouldn't expect less than 100 GB of transfer per month or 10GB for about $7 per month. I haven't tried the free php hosting sites, but they won't be any use because you are going to have at least 3-5 GB of data. My preferred host in this case would be Dreamhost because it has the bandwidth and the first year is pretty much free.
Now, if you don't want to do it yourself, there's a site called SmugMug for stills. It's like $35 a year and does everything you want, including print services, with no limits on pictures.
If you just want to put files up on the web, MiHD is great. My friends in Europe regularly send me huge files via that service. Because I'm running linux, a click, a copy of a link and a wget (to bypass FF's downloader) get the files.
Now, if you really want to get people geeked about the wedding, setup a Simple Machines Forum and install their gallery add on or just increase the attachment limits on your posts. Installing SMF is so easy. Every post can have images attached to it and people can comment on them.
Also, if you are familiar with the Chans (of which 4chan, 7chan and Futuba are the most famous), you could potentially find the code for a chan and use that. Chans are imageboards.
Anyways, if you want me to dig up that code, I have no problem with passing on some code in the hopes that it would be useful. Of course, the license would likely be GNU GPL.